


Girls' Night In

by EldritchSandwich



Category: Saints Row
Genre: Catfight, Drunk Sex, Drunken Confessions, F/F, Fluffy Sandwich, House Party, Resolved Sexual Tension, Romantic Angst, Saints Row The Third
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 03:12:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5523248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EldritchSandwich/pseuds/EldritchSandwich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Boss decides that the bickering ladies of the Saints need a little team-building exercise. Like getting really, really drunk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Girls' Night In

**5:21 PM**

Pierce and I walk in to the penthouse to the sound of screaming. And not one of the good kinds of screaming, like from sex or combat. Well, actually, sort of from combat.

"You know, I am getting really fucking sick of you walking around like you own the place!"

Shaundi's the one screaming, while Viola just stands there smirking with her arms folded. "Well, the Morningstar owned this building before you took it over, so technically..."

"Yes, please, remind us all how you have a history of screwing over the gang you're running with at the drop of a hat. You wouldn't happen to have another twin sister we could kill so you'll switch sides again, would you?"

Viola bristles. "Yes, I keep her in the same place you keep your spare Johnny Gat."

Shaundi balls her fists, pacing the floor like she's doing it to keep from slamming Viola's head into the wall. Neither one of them has even noticed we're here. "No wonder the Morningstar folded after you left. How could they survive without your ability to stand around looking like a slut?"

Viola sneers. "Oh, I'm sorry. Am I making you feel redundant?"

Shaundi stops and spins around to face her. "The fuck did you just say to me?"

"'Redundant,' dear. It means extra. Spare. Unnecessary. Don't feel bad that you've never heard it...it is a high school word after all."

"You're about to lose some redundant organs if you don't watch your fucking mouth..."

"Hey!" Until she snaps out, I hadn't even seen Kinzie squatting in an armchair with her laptop. "Would you two stop fighting? We're all supposed to be on the same side." The two exchange a guarded, sideways glance, and Kinzie just nods matter-of-factly. "Besides, all your noise is interfering with my programming."

Shaundi rolls her eyes. "Well then maybe you should be doing your programming back in your little cave."

"Hey, you people are always telling me to get out more."

"Fine, so get out! Find a spot in this city without wifi and see if you can survive for more than fifteen seconds."

"Hey," Viola snaps. "Don't take your whole wounded tough girl routine out on Kinzie. Her I actually like."

"Thank you," the redhead mutters without looking up from her keyboard, and Shaundi snorts.

"Oh please. You realize she's probably writing a program to spy on your email or some shit."

"I find that incredibly insulting," Kinzie sniffs, still not looking up. "Like I didn't have all your emails cracked after the first day."

Shaundi just throws up her hands, but Viola spins on her stiletto heel. "You what? You've been reading my email?"

I clear my throat. "Ladies?"

"I also trace your phone and your credit card use. You really should be more careful."

I glance at Pierce, who shrugs. "'Scuse me."

"I'll show you careful, you little..."

When I pull the Shepherd out of my waistband and fire a round into the ceiling, they finally notice us; even Kinzie manages to peel her eyes away from the screen. "What the fuck is going on here?"

Shaundi sighs angrily, like she's been doing everything since we landed in Steelport. "Nothing, Boss."

"Bullshit. This is how you spend your time just because we don't have quite as many people trying to kill us these days?"

"Or frame us for terrorism," Pierce mutters, and when I glare back he shrugs. "Just sayin'."

"They started it," Kinzie mutters, and Viola spins around to face her and it's like I was never here.

"Uh, no, I think it's safe to say that you started it when you wiretapped us!"

"Uh, no, I think it's safe to say that you started it when you started murdering our friends!" Shaundi's dangerously close to Viola, and I almost want to just wait on the off chance that this ends up in a catfight. But then, I wouldn't want to give poor Pierce a nosebleed.

Before anyone can start tearing clothes or hair, I fire two more rounds into the ceiling, and it's enough to get them to turn around. I take advantage of the silence to turn back to Pierce. "Pierce, you think you could run a little errand for me?"

His eyes flit nervously between the three women with the scowls and the one with the gun. "Uh...yeah. Whatever you need."

"Good. Get someone to get us six pizzas and a case of Diamant, then take the boys to a strip club or something." I turn back to the ladies and favor them with a grin that's more effective than the gunshots.

"We're gonna have a girls' night."

* * *

**7:30 PM**

"Well this is fun," Viola drones, and I shoot her a glare.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, we're playing the smartass bitch drinking game. Every time you say something sarcastic, you have to take a shot."

Viola just rolls her eyes, but she seems almost too eager to take a long swig from the bottle of Diamant she's laid claim to. Shaundi and I are passing one back and forth from the armchair to the couch, and I look over to the opposite end to find Kinzie with her face still buried in her computer.

"Kinzie? The laptop goes bye-bye, or I swear to God I'm gonna blow its brains out."

The threat's enough to get her to glance up at me over the rims of her glasses. "You wouldn't."

"Try me."

She watches me, blinking, for a few seconds. I raise my eyebrow, and she sighs and clicks it shut before sliding it onto the coffee table and replacing it with the bottle I offer her. She takes a sip, then scrunches up her nose. "What is this stuff?"

"Diamant. It's champagne with diamond dust in it," Shaundi volunteers before I have the chance.

Kinzie takes another tentative sip, eyebrows furrowing. "You can, um...you can really taste the diamonds."

Shaundi snorts out a laugh. I kick my feet up on the table, and Kinzie smiles.

* * *

**10:50 PM**

"No, no, y'see, it's not...I'm not doin' it t'be...t'be bad at you." Kinzie flicks her tongue out as if tasting the sentence before turning to me with furrowed brows. "Issat a word?"

Shaundi looks vaguely annoyed, but Viola's actually laughing and I can't help joining her. "You don't drink much, do you, Kinzie?" I figure we've each had at least a bottle at this point, but Shaundi and I are used to much worse and Viola...well, Viola could probably have half a kilo of blow in her and a gun to her head and still look unruffled.

Then again, maybe not; when I look back, it's to find Kinzie leaning against Viola, who's shooting her some less than comfortable looks as the redhead rubs her cheek against her hair. "Hey Violet?"

Viola winces. "Yes, Kinzie?"

"Can...c'n I suck on your hair?"

Viola's eyes go wide. "What?"

"I jus...I really love your hair. God, I love it so much..."

I manage to keep from laughing long enough to pull Kinzie back towards me; Shaundi doesn't have nearly that much self-restraint, and Viola shoots her a dirty look for it. I clear my throat. "You were saying, Kinzie?"

She blinks thickly. "I was?"

"That you weren't doing it to be bad at us?"

Her eyes light up, her finger poking me right in the left breast, a sensation I studiously try to ignore. "Yes! I mean it...i's not like I'm tryin' to extartion...excor...blackmail anybody. I jus...I need t'know wha's goin' on if I wanna feel safe but I'd never tell anybody. I mean I'd never tell anybody tha Violet su'scribes to a forum for eron...aroti...sexy Nyteblayde famfiniction!"

Said businesswoman's wide eyes and deliciously pink cheeks belie the stream of denials she spouts.

"Or...or tha Shaundi din't lose her v'gini...tity 'til she was—"

"You finish that sentence, I will fucking end you!"

"Or tha...or tha the Boss' real name is—"

My response is a lot simpler than denials or threats; the rest of the sentence disappears into my mouth. Since I'm a little buzzed and it's making me admit that Kinzie's hot, wet mouth tastes amazing, I hold the kiss for a few seconds longer than I really need to to shut her up. Shaundi catcalls, but Viola just stares in shock. When I pull back with a wet pop, Kinzie blinks, staring drunkenly up into my eyes.

"Di...d'you jus shut me up?"

I clear my throat. "Yeah."

Kinzie just blinks, nodding sedately. "I never been shut up by a girl before." Before I can respond, she dissolves into a fit of giggles. "It felt reeeeeeally good!"

Shaundi cackles her agreement. "Try babbling with your pussy next, then you'll really like it when she shuts you up!"

Kinzie's eyes go wide, and God help me I'm almost blushing because it looks like she's actually going to ask me to eat her out and if she does I won't be able to say no. Instead, the next sound is of Viola stumbling out of her chair.

"You...you can't be serious!" Three stares turn to her, one more glassy-eyed than the others. "That's disgusting!"

Shaundi and I share a look. She grins. Wide. "Uh-oh, Boss. I think someone here's never kissed a girl before..."

Viola's eyes go hard. So, I can't help noticing through her ungodly tight sweater, do her nipples. "Of course not! I'm normal."

That and the alcohol make me snort. "Yeah, well, Shaundi and I have eaten plenty of pussy, and Kinzie's practically begging for it, isn't that right, sweetie?"

Kinzie, whose head is lolled back over the arm of the couch, giggles. "I wanna eat all the pussy!"

I just shrug. "So apparently you're the only one here who's not normal."

Before a stammering Viola can put together a response, Kinzie's head flops back up, eyes searching lazily around the den. "Ooh! C'n I shut up Vio...Vial..."

As she struggles with the name, she lurches up, crawling toward a mortified, dumbstruck Viola. She makes it halfway over the coffee table before collapsing.

* * *

**12:30 AM**

I lean back with a sigh, letting my top ride up over my stomach as it drags against the cushions. The three of us who are still conscious have slowed our drinking and settled into a nice buzz, Shaundi even managing to convince me to put on some real music, which she's been shimmying around the room to on and off. Whenever she does, I feel a twinge, because she looks like the old Shaundi, the zen stoner dropout who didn't hate everyone and everything all the time. Until now, I didn't really realize how much I miss that girl.

At the moment, though, Shaundi's not dancing. She's staring at Viola, who's trying hard not to stare back. Finally, she snaps. "What?"

Shaundi shrugs airily. "It just blows my mind that you've never fucked another girl."

Viola's cheeks go supernova, and she tosses the empty bottle in her hand against the glass coffee table, thankfully not quite hard enough to break either one. "Why the fuck can't you let that go? I'm not a dyke!"

That's the most I've ever heard Viola swear in one breath. Can't help thinking we've struck a nerve.

Shaundi just scoffs. "Yeah, neither am I! You don't have to be a dyke to like fuckin' chicks." She leisurely rolls her head in my direction. "Well, th' Boss does."

Viola's eyes go to me with more horror than when Johnny bashed in her boss' head on that plane. I just grin. "What can I say, I find guys about as sexy as farm animals."

"Oh, so after about what, two drinks?" Shaundi quips, and it's so much like the old her I can't do anything but laugh. She turns back toward Viola and her vibrant blush and her quivering lip. "What the fuck is it that freaks you out so much? You had a fucking twin sister, didn't you and whatsername ever share a guy...you know, do a little experimenting?"

And just like that, Viola's out of her chair, the Diamant bottle back in her hand. She lunges before my dulled reflexes can catch up, and it shatters against the side of Shaundi's chair. "Shut up! Just shut up, you fucking whore!"

Before I can decide whether I want to intercede, Viola gets her hand into Shaundi's ponytail and jerks her out of her chair, and just like that I've got a real live catfight on my hands.

Normally it wouldn't last long; Viola can't fight to save her life even when she's not drunk, angry, and stupid, but Shaundi's once-legendary tolerance for intoxicants has been worn down by the last few years of corporate responsibility so neither one of them is at her peak. As it is, Shaundi manages to get Viola's grip off her hair by grabbing a handful of the businesswoman's sweater, pulling it away with an audible rip that exposes Viola's lacy black bra barely penning in heaving tits that are even impressive by my standards. Shaundi slaps one, and Viola lets out a moan that's not quite pain.

Shaundi's got enough momentum to lever Viola over the arm of her chair, yanking up her skirt to reveal a matching lace thong with an old-fashioned garter belt. I can't help just watching and trying not to get too turned on. Viola's squirming isn't helping. "Get the fuck off of me!"

"Shut up bitch!" Shaundi punctuates it with a sharp spank, raising a pink on Viola's exposed ass cheek that matches her face. "You do not!" Slap. "Get to tell me!" Slap. "What to do!"

The last spank is interrupted by the flailing of Viola's legs, intertwining with Shaundi's until neither one can stand under her own power. They drop to the floor in a tangle of limbs, and by some act of divine justice Viola ends up on top, wasting no time in retaking her grip on Shaundi's hair and using her other hand to yank down Shaundi's top. And this is when I learn that deep down Shaundi is still Shaundi, because she's not wearing a bra and those tits that were one of the most beautiful pairs I'd ever seen even before she got them done pop free.

Viola's scrabbling for purchase means she inadvertently cups one, and the shock of that and the accompanying groan of arousal from Shaundi makes her pause long enough for Shaundi to turn the tables. Before my sluggish mind can even figure out what's happening, Viola's on her back, skirt still around her waist and Shaundi's hips locking hers to the ground. When Shaundi grinds down, Viola whimpers in a way that I recognize all too well and know that Shaundi does too. "What, do you like that, bitch?"

Viola's shaking her head even as her hips unwillingly thrust upward. Shaundi grinds down again. Slouched on the couch staring at all this I'm as wet as I've ever been, and I know this because I've got two fingers working in my Planet Saints brand panties. I sigh, just a little, and Shaundi's eyes slip towards the couch. "You're getting off on this, aren't you, bitch?" I don't know whether she's talking to me or Viola.

Viola answers first. "No," she sobs. The 'o' is more of a moan.

I can't help noticing that the rotation of Shaundi's hips has gentled, a regular rhythm as her hands caress Viola's flanks. "Why not? Would that be...wrong?" Shaundi punctuates the word with her hands slipping up over Viola's bra, and Viola gasps.

"I...I don't...yes. Please, just..."

"It feels good, doesn't it?" Shaundi leans down as she purrs it, her tits rubbing against Viola's through a thin layer of lace. "You want more, don't you?" Viola and I both nod, spellbound.

"That's not wrong, is it?" Shaundi's voice is soft, different than I've ever heard it, and I sit up straight.

Viola's only answer is a frustrated growl as she shoots up to claim Shaundi's lips with her own.

As they roll around on the floor, lost to the world, I stagger to my feet, throwing my coat over a peaceful, obliviously snoring Kinzie before stumbling blindly toward the stairs.

* * *

**2:06 AM**

I'm not quite asleep, and I've started sobering up. Put together, those two facts mean that I hear it like a gunshot when the door to my bedroom creaks open, but also that I really, really don't want to move. I look up to see a shape that's unmistakably Shaundi silhouetted in the light from outside. She's naked, and even though I've seen it before in magazines and on TV like the statistically insignificant number of other people Shaundi hasn't actually fucked, I can't stop staring. Her body is perfect down to the last detail, right down to the Saints fleur de lis shaved above her pussy. Seeing her like this makes me horny and angry in ways I don't like.

"Did you and Viola have fun?" It comes out harsher than I intended, but Shaundi just shrugs airily.

"Think we found a new way to settle our fights. We're probably gonna be fighting a lot more, now," she slurs, then without warning she teeters across the room and collapses into bed with me. I stripped down to my panties, so there's nothing stopping her slipping an arm around my bare stomach like she's been doing it for years.

"Why do you think we never fucked?" The question, and the feel of Shaundi's nipples rubbing against my back, makes me tense up. "I mean, I think you're fuckin' hot. And don't think I haven't seen you checkin' me out. So why didn't we ever just go for it?"

I lie there in silence for a few minutes, trying to delude myself into thinking that the silence is because she's fallen asleep rather than because she's waiting for an answer. "The timing was never right, I guess." It sounds weak even to me. "Besides, I've seen what happens to the guys you hook up with."

"Yeah, but you're not a guy."

Shaundi's voice is small and quiet and almost vulnerable, and it occurs to me where I've heard it before; when I was carrrying her out of that club in Stilwater where her psycho DJ ex decided to use her to get to me. And suddenly, I remember that we're both drunk and so, so tired and we probably won't remember this conversation in the morning anyway.

"Were you in love with Gat?"

"What?" I turn to face her, not even thinking about the fact that this makes her breasts mash up against mine and puts our mouths an inch apart. "Why would you say that?"

"Ever since he died, you've been so angry at everything, all the time. I mean, you used to be..."

Shaundi sighs bitterly. "I used to be a stupid, helpless little girl." She rolls onto her back, and this time it's my turn to put an arm over her as I watch the movement of her lips and the subtle rise and fall of her breasts. "When I met you, I was a fucked-up stoner dropout who couldn't hold a gun or even do her own laundry. Then all of a sudden...we won. We went corporate, and you and Johnny didn't have any idea what you were doing, and Pierce was as much help as he ever is, and I just...learned about all this stuff I could do."

My arm tightens and my other hand goes up to brush the hair out of her eyes, silently begging her to continue. "Then we get snatched up here, and Johnny...and I realized that all of that was for shit and I was still a stupid, helpless little girl. And I am not ever going to feel like that again."

I just lie there for a while, hand rubbing slowly up and down Shaundi's stomach because I can't help myself. "I miss that stupid, helpless little girl sometimes," I murmur.

"No, you don't," she snaps.

"Yes, I do." I sigh. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I comfort myself once again with the notion that neither one of us will remember this in the morning. "I miss how you made everything look so easy. I miss how you...made me think, just once in a while, that life didn't suck as much as I knew it did."

Shaundi doesn't say anything, so I just shrug, my shoulder sliding against hers. "But now it's like...if even you know how much life sucks, then what's the point?"

"So what, you like me helpless?" She tenses, but she doesn't sound defensive. She sounds nervous. That's the one tone I've never heard from her.

I sigh. "Yeah. Fine, I do." She scoffs, but doesn't speak. I roll on my back even if it means breaking contact because I can't be looking her in the eye when I say this. "I'm not a good person, Shaundi. In fact this might have escaped your notice, but I'm kind of a sociopathic asshole." Shaundi snorts. "So yeah, maybe it was nice to be able to think that even as bad as I was, I was still capable of...protecting someone."

I realize the truth as I say it, and my body practically collapses from the revelation. "I don't think you always need to be rescued, Shaundi. But...I do like rescuing you."

Shaundi shifts, and I feel her arm around me again. "I...I like being rescued by you too." I let out a breath like I've been waiting a lifetime to hear that strange little sentence. Shaundi's so close now I can hear it when she swallows. "Boss?"

"Mm?"

"What would you do if I kissed you right now?"

I suck in a breath. "I'd let you."

And just like that, she does. And just like that, I do.

* * *

**11:51 AM**

When I finally wake up, it's with Shaundi sprawled on top of me, naked. I stir, and she hums and tightens her grip. "Mm, good morning, baby..." She blinks, then her arms and legs tense, still wrapped around me. "Boss?"

I clear my throat. "Do you, um...remember what happened last night?"

Shaundi begins to shake her head, then her eyes fall, and she looks for all the world like a scared little girl. "Yeah. I...do you?"

I swallow apprehensively and I sigh angrily because I knew I was lying to myself the whole time. "Yeah."

"I...should we...what should we..."

I suck in a breath. "Can we just...sleep a little longer?"

Shaundi's arms and legs relax, pressing harder and softer against my own. "Yeah."

And just like that, we do.


End file.
